Could there be another hospital visit?

 I'm having a breakdown, and I have nowhere else to go to safely deal with what I need to deal with. However, my mom won't have the help she needs if I go in... but I really feel I need to go.  This will be interesting. My mom knows things are wrong, but she has no idea the extent of what's going on. She just thinks I'm having trouble sleeping. I was going to Raleigh Saturday to get some more olive oil blessed by Pastor Stephen, and go to their deliverance prayer session. But, I don't know that I can wait that long to get help.  I'm at a breaking point. Anyhow... I would like to go to the hospital today. I don't plan on going to the PHP after, because I don't feel that's what I need this time. Is it bad, my plan is, to go to the hospital, refuse my meds a few days, until they tell me they'll have to give me shots, and then let them give me shots. Meanwhile, I'll have lots of time to pray, which I don't have at home. It'd be ideal if I had my own room. In February I had my own room half the time, but shared a room the other half. We'll see. My mom is not going to want me to go. My mom's CNA is not going to want me to go. But I desperately think actually I need to go. I won't go into details, but, I'm actually scared I'll wind up in an institution if I don't deal with what I'm dealing with for good. 

Anyhow, the spirit husband attack is really bad.  I went to the hospital last year about this time for help with it. They changed my medicine and sent me home. Now I know the medicine type isn't going to make a difference.  Although it would hopefully get me on a sleeping schedule again, 

In February, I sensed in the E.R. that there actually would be an underground at Baptist. I didn't hear details, but I do know God loves BASEBALL most, and FOOTBALL next. Ah, and I don't follow sports at all. 

Well... this could be interesting. 

I'll let you know if I am definitely going or not. Pray for me either way.  Thanks!



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