Idolatry, bondage, and the start of the road to deliverance and freedom

 

I was reading today in 2 Kings 17-18, where Israel gets taken into captivity by Assyria. It’s sad, but also if you’ve read everything leading up to it, you know the captivity has been a long time coming. From the get-go, God had told Israel that if they followed Him and obeyed all He commanded, they would continue to experience God’s blessings, but if they turned aside from the Lord and His commands, they would be overtaken by surrounding nations. Well, King David sought after the Lord whole heartedly, but after that things went downhill. King Solomon went astray with all his wives and concubines turning his heart to other gods, and from there on things continually digress, the kingdom splits… it’s a mess. Then you have Israel and Judah, and over time, Judah has some good kings, but all of Israel’s kings are bad. They lead the people into whoredom after other gods. God is obviously patient with them, giving them plenty of time to repent, sending prophets to warn them, but they just keep worshipping idols and going about life as usual. It’s really sad to read and think how it must have broken God’s heart to watch His people completely rebel against Him and then be led into slavery again. He’d gone to great lengths to rescue them from Egypt in a very grand way, pointing to His Glory. It’s just hart to read, so I can imagine it being hard for God to watch unfold.

            Here’s the thing, we’re more like Israel than we’d like to think. At least I am. I’m not setting up high places literally and bowing down to little statues or messing around with Asherim poles. Not literally. But I certainly have plenty of functional idols in my heart. I’ve got plans I want to see happen, I’ve got people I idolize, I definitely struggle with wanting more money and seeing that as a ticket out of my circumstances. When I let those things continue to consume me, they lead me into bondage as well, and being in bondage is no fun.

            I had found freedom from all my bondage in 2009, oddly, when I was… ahem, “crazy.” It was my first manic episode, and it was very intense, and I was, how do you put it, hyper-religious?  Apparently it’s not normal to tip $100.00 to gain an opportunity to share the Gospel with your waitress, and when you’re in the psych ward, most people are too depressed to thing about sharing the Gospel. No one told me that I was supposed to be depressed and trying to get out. I thought I was there to start an underground church planting movement! You better believe I was witnessing to anyone who moved on the floor! I also drank a bunch of grape juice and decided symbolically it was the blood of Christ, and everyone on the hall needed to be covered with Christ’s blood, so I then vomited it out in front of each room. I don’t recommend that, actually. People just think you’re crazy, and the janitors are really not happy, and then they don’t allow grape juice anymore! 

            I think I found freedom because I shifted positions in the battle. I went from being on the defensive against Satan’s attacks to being on the offensive, threatening his dominion wherever I went. But, it wasn’t long before I fell, and I fell hard.

            When I studied how Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, one of the first things I noticed was His temptation came immediately after a spiritual high. He’d been baptized and began his pubic ministry, I’d say that’s a high point! And then he entered a season in the wilderness, of extreme dependence on the Lord, fasting 40 days. I don’t know about you, but fasting has never been my strong suit, I’ve maybe made it 2 and a half days at this point. The point isn’t that I need to fast more – the point is that Jesus was physically weak after depriving himself for so long. But Jesus passed the test!  He went through three temptations and withstood that nonsense from the devil. He wielded the word, and He prayed, and He was victorious!

            Well… I wasn’t victorious at all. My spiritual high maybe lasted 2 months, and then, I let sin completely wreck where I was with the Lord. What’s worse, my mentality completely turned around for the worse, and I began to see myself as a victim for the next 10 years. When you’re a victim, you aren’t owning your sin or responsibility in the mess. So it’s impossible to turn it around into victory.

            My sin led me into bondage. And then there was more sin, more idolatry, and greater bondage. I mean, I knew I was a sinner, and I knew I had idols that I was repenting of, but… I wasn’t willing to look at the really ugly stuff, or acknowledge my part in my bondage. I’d be curious to read my journals from that time, oh dear, what would they say?

            In 2019, I identified that I was stuck in a victim mentality, and I saw the mess it kept me tied to, and I began to take ownership of my life. There were definitely some setbacks, but there was also breakthrough. That summer was when I started to realize that I needed to go on the offensive spiritually.

            When you start to engage in the battle, be ready because Satan will attack back. He’s done a lot to put you in bondage, He doesn’t want you breaking free and attacking Him or His minions, and he especially doesn’t want you doing things like sharing the Gospel. So, the fight will be intense.

            It was the week before Christmas 2020 when I looked up Fire Power Ministries, and Christmas Day I began to pray prayers to break destructive covenants. Actually, the Lord gave me a sign that night that He was with me. I had helped my mom get in bed, and she called me into her room, and right when I walked in, Alexa went off and started singing, “This child that you delivered will soon deliver you…” My mom was surprised that Alexa just blurted out a song without being prompted, but I knew the Lord must have prompted her to sing that exact song to me.