Father Figures

 

Father’s Day isn’t usually a big deal in my family. Well, when your dad dies when you’re a little kid, you tend to not want to remember that you actually really miss him and wish he hadn’t died. It kind of just makes you sad, and maybe a little jealous of your friends who have dads to honor. I think my mom used to just take us out to eat to forget about the sadness and try to make it a happier day.

     I guess, it didn’t just sting because he died, it stung because of the way he died. He committed suicide. That’s like, a betrayal to your family. It makes you think thoughts like, I wasn’t good enough or worth it enough for him to stay around for me? It just plays with your head. In a way that you really don’t want to think about most of the time.

     This year though, I feel, I need to acknowledge the father figures in my life.

     There have been many.

     Senior McCrary stepped in as my dad when I was in elementary school so that I could go to Doughnuts with Dad. I’m thankful for those memories.

     Ron came to cotillion when I was in middle school and had to dance with my parent. He filled in as a dad. I’m thankful for his willingness to lead me on the dance floor, and I hope I didn’t step on his toes too many times!

     Anthony and Tom, my adopted family, have been there too many holidays to count growing up.  Anthony let me live with him and stay with him during exam times at college, when I went to State for soccer camp, even recently when I was working in Durham for a summer. I’ll never forget Anthony was watching us when I locked my brother in the trunk of the rental car, hehehe, he’ll never forget that day either! I’m thankful for him, and Tom’s quiet presence, when Tom did share it was wise, or it made you smile. I’m thankful even though they’ll never let me drive their car again (last time I hit a mailbox in their SUV, but I wasn’t used to driving something so big!)

     Jon engrained in me the importance of spending time with the Lord daily and being plugged into a church. He helped me in a lot of ways, actually. Thankful for fun road trips with him and VJ to Birmingham, and driving lessons…

     Al just really encouraged me and built me up. Thankful for hugs in a pandemic, he seemed to know that life has to go on, and that people need touch.

     I’ve worked with teenagers whose dads got them addicted to drugs, whose dads abused them, whose dads abandoned them. They weren’t good fathers. They were sperm donors.  I was drawn to work with them, because I knew the sting of not having a father. But I also know the sweetness of having a heavenly Father who steps in and provides just what you need at the right time. And I so wanted to share the love of my Heavenly Father with them. Their earthly fathers failed them.  But He will not fail them, if they would only call out to Him.

     God is my true father now. He adopted me into His family. Interesting, I’ve been adopted twice!  I think, even though my biological father was a disturbed person, God wanted me to know I am special and wanted, if he allowed me to be adopted, and then adopted me Himself. But I am blessed, I have a unique perspective of seeing God as my father provide in many ways over the years.

     So… even though I didn’t have an earthly father, I did have many father figures that blessed me. And now I’m closer to my Abba than before. So, I have a lot to be grateful for this Father’s Day actually. And if you’re reading this, I hope you know, the Father loves you dearly, and He wants to be Your Abba, too! Let Him in close, and he will heal the wounds and scars of life on your heart, and He will take your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh, and He will give you new purpose and life. He wants to be that close to you so much He sent His Son into the world to make it possible. “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.” Song of Solomon 2:4. Let the Father and the Son draw you into their banqueting house, so the banner over you will be love.